Last Thursday, night a wonderful panel* gathered with families of prospective college students at Gunston Theater 1 to watch the film HAZE. This film graphically depicts how binge drinking can result in the tragic death of new college student, not from drinking and driving, but from alcohol poisoning. (click here for a longer on-line version)

So often when parents are sending their students off to college they wave good-bye and keep fingers crossed that these newly minted “young adults” will find fun, friendship, success, and happiness on this journey called college. Too often these students are not prepared to face some of the social situations that will confront them, often the first week of school.

There are ways that students can be better prepared.

• One of those ways is for them to hear from you what you think about college drinking, and what you expect.
• Another — genuinely ask them  to postpone drinking until they have really come to view the lay of the land. Parents who take this tack will suggest that students attend a certain number of parties, or wait a certain amount of time and then discuss with an adult they trust before making decisions that they want to jump into the crazy excesses of college drinking.

Some suggestions from our panel included:

• Don’t turn a blind eye to your suspicions that your child may already be engaging in high school alcohol or drug use.  Talk about why this is risky behavior for a high school or college student.
• What are your lessons learned about college drinking and why do you think your teen should approach it differently (or the same)?
• Pay attention to how your college student is talking about the early experiences he or she is facing.  Ask follow-up questions.
• Realize that boys and girls sometimes drink for different reasons.  Help girls understand that using alcohol and particularly drinking excessively opens them up to all sorts of risks.  Boys should understand that using alcohol to “hook-up” puts them at legal risk whether they remember the events or not.
• Remind them that it is still illegal for them to drink, no matter what they witness in the college social world. There are reasons why these laws have been in effect for over 30 years. The risks are not worth it.
•   Find out about the university’s policy around underage drinking. On college tours ask about activities that don’t include alcohol. (You can do this quietly, if you worry about your student’s embarrassment levels.)

You can find statistics about the impact of college drinking and other tips when you click here.

*Our panel included

• Officers Taphorn and Toumey from Arlington County Police Department
• Molly Newton, Deputy/Assistant Virginia Commonwealth Attorney
• Chris Parayno, Junior at the Catholic University of America
• Melissa Sporn, Family Communications Expert/Family Therapist
• Meredith Wadman, Medical Journalist & MD who lost her brother to a drunk driving accident when he was 17

Thanks to Deputy Chief of Police, Michael Dunne, for starting the evening off perfectly.

Have kids heading to college?

You could use some help… Here are some resources for parents of college-bound students.

collegeparents.org

facebook.com/CollegeParentsofAmerica

collegedrinkingprevention.gov

A Call to Action: http://collegedrinkingprevention.gov/media/TaskForceReport.pdf

READYCoalition.org

facebook.com/ReadyCoalition

und.edu/student-affairs/dean-of-students/talking-about-alcohol.cfm

ArlingtonPartnershipForYouth.org

DrugFree.org (This is an amazing/extensive resource.)

parents.drugfree.org

teenbrain.drugfree.org

Timetotalk.org (Resource for parents to talk about drugs. Skills transfer to other touchy subjects.)

Virginia’s Guide for Parents of First Year College Students: abc.state.va.us/Education/parents/AGuideforParents.html

Check out web resources at the colleges your child is considering or has decided to attend. Many have web pages for parents. Find out the policies and opportunities for college students to have healthy, alcohol-free social lives in college.

The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) has scheduled another National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day which will take place on Saturday, April 28, 2012, from 10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.  This is a great opportunity for those who missed the previous events, or who have subsequently accumulated unwanted, unused prescription drugs, to safely dispose of those medications.

Americans that participated in the DEA’s third National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day on October 29, 2011, turned in more than 377,086 pounds (188.5 tons) of unwanted or expired medications for safe and proper disposal at the 5,327 take-back sites that were available in all 50 states and U.S. territories. When the results of the three prior Take-Back Days are combined, the DEA, and its state, local, and tribal law-enforcement and community partners have removed 995,185 pounds (498.5 tons) of medication from circulation in the past 13 months.
Locations:

• Arlington Fire Station #1, 500 S. Glebe Road
• Arlington Fire Station #8, 4845 Lee Highway
• Arlington Fire Station #9, 1900 S. Walter Reed Drive
• Pentagon parking lot, 551 Army Navy Drive
• Ft. Myer Post Exchange, 104 McNair Road
  - http://www.arlnow.com/2012/04/26/turn-in-unwanted-prescriptions-at-drug-take-back-day/

Won’t talking about these things give kids ideas? Here’s the truth: Kids are getting ideas every day from everyone else. Don’t you want them to get them from you? Our kids hear things in the hallways of their schools.  They see things on Facebook. They get tweets on their smartphones.  They watch T.V. and see ads and comedies about drinking and using drugs. Kids think they’ve heard it all when we start to talk.  It doesn’t matter. They need to hear from us amidst all the other messages they are receiving. So, how do you start those conversations? Here are some conversation starters:

• I read this article about . . . What do you think?
• What’s the attitude at your school about . . .?
• What do kids do if they don’t want to (drink? have sex? sneak out?)
• We’re so proud of you . . . We love you . . .
• Remember the rules, no smoking, no drinking, no drugs, no riding with drinking drivers because . . .
• If you ever need a ride, no matter what, call me.
• I know you’ve heard this from others, but I want you to hear it from me . . .

It’s not too early to start thinking and talking about prom and graduation.  Too often juniors and students will pop last minute changes in plans on parents who aren’t ready to navigate the alternatives. Start talking to your teen in advance. Set  your expectations that plans need to be finalized in plenty of time.  We’ll have more tips as we get closer to prom season, but in the meantime, click here for some good thoughts and tips to consider. I like when Jeff Wolfsberg says we want to do our best to ensure that  ”the only horror will be when your teen looks back years from now and says, ‘Oh my, what was I wearing!’ and ‘Look at my hair!’ Those are the types of memories we can live with.”

Inhalants seem to move in and out of popularity among young people. Although the most popular age group for “huffing” is middle schoolers, we’re seeing an increase in use of air conditioner Freon by older teens and adults as well.

There are lots of reasons that kids don’t believe there is any harm in inhalants.

1- They are easily available in homes and schools, they must be safe, Right?

2- They see others sniff markers or glue and they don’t see any harm come to the friends.

3- Many have seen kids and adults play with and inhale helium to change their voices. It’s just like that isn’t it?

It’s important for adults to talk to kids to let them know that inhalants are dangerous. The National Inhalant Prevention Coalition estimates between 100 and 125 deaths per year come from inhalant use. But there’s more. Kids who use inhalants can develop a dependence on them and can lose focus as they seek out their next high. Chronic inhalant abuse can damage the brain, heart, lungs, kidney, liver, and peripheral nerves.

Inhalant use can also introduce younger children to the concept of getting high, and since there is a pleasure component to it, they sometimes begin to pursue other highs as well.

It’s important not to leave these discussions to someone else. Schools should be talking to students, but most importantly these conversations need to be happening at home. Kids whose parents give clear and unambiguous messages about risky behavior are much less likely to experiment with substances.

Find a chance to talk to the young people in your life. Let them know that you want the best for them and that you want them to choose healthy ways to have fun.

For more information about inhalants, check out these websites:

National Inhalant Prevention Coalition

Drugfree.org

Gunston MS Counseling Resources

Principle #1: Tune Into Your Teen
Principle #2: Guide Your Teen
Principle #3: Respect Your Teen
Principle #4: Be A Good Role Model

Check out Navigating the Teen Years: A Parent’s Handbook for Raising Healthy Teens to get great ideas about how to stay connected with and respected by your teenager following these principles. Look for the ‘Quick Self Checks’ and a ‘Busy Parent’s Checklist.’

You can even download it to your smartphone or iPad to take along with you.